Krispy Kreme Donuts (what you should know)





Krispy Kreme donuts were founded in Winston-Salem, North Carolina; Vernon Rudolph bought a secret yeast-raised donut recipe from a 'French chef'. (This mysterious Frenchman was an agent of 'Them').




The famous 'Hot Original Glazed'

On July 13th 1937 poison was introduced into the food-chain via the Hot original glazed donut. All through the 1940's and 1950's Krispy Kreme enjoyed enormous success and expanded by way of more automated manufacture methods in order to meet demand as the addiction to the poison became widespread throughout the south-east.

Through the 1960's Krisp Kreme continued to grow and expand outside the south-east and its traditional roots. The danger, and seriousness of the Krispy Kreme 'problem' came to the attention of of the 'anti-poison lobby' who decided to act, taking over Krispy Kreme in 1973 under the guise of 'Beatrice Foods'.

From 1973 Krispy Kreme started nine glorious years as 'anti-poison' under the supervision of the 'Anti-Poison Lobby', until 1982, the year that delicious poison free donut confectionery was removed from the food-chain.

'They' could stand-by no longer, it was time for the 'Krispy Kreme master-plan' to come into affect. In 1982 Krispy Kreme was the subject of an aggressive and ultimately successful take-over when a 'small group of associates' bought Krispy Kreme back from Beatrice Foods.
This 'group of associates' was the start of franchising for Krispy Kreme and the opportunity for 'Them' to poison on a mass scale as they 'sold' their franchises to their own inner circle of conspirators.

However a handful of members of the 'anti-poison lobby', remnants of Beatrice Foods, were able to infiltrate some of the original group of associates; all is not lost with Krispy Kreme, there is some anti-poison left if you know where to look:


The glazed cinnamon donut is poison. Yes I know it looks yummy, but thats the whole point. Thats how they make you take the poison.


The Chocolate Iced Glazed Donut.
Look at it; isn't it lovely? Couldn't you just eat three of them, one after the other.
EXACTLY!!!!! THEY ARE POISON.

The Chocolate Iced donut with sprinkles is 'Safe'. The Anti poison lobby did not manage to get the anti-poison antidote into any Krispy Kreme product (after the take-over of 1982). But this donut is one that is thankfully safe.

The Chocolate Iced Kreme filled donut; Look at it!!
Of course it is poison.


The dulce de leche donut; A scrumptious shell of yeast raised donut, stuffed to bursting with a flavoursum caramel Kreme and rolled in granulated sugar.
I am more sorry than you can possibly imagine, but I'm afraid they are poison.

The chocolate iced custard filled donut; This is safe, but please be careful not to confuse it with the 'Chocolate Iced Kreme Filled' Donut, which is poison.




The Glazed Creme filled, Glazed Lemon filled, and Glazed Raspberry filled donuts ( all pictured above) are all poison, and you should know that not only are they poison but they are THE most toxic of the Krispy Kreme range. They have a dosage of poison that is close to lethal; avoid them at all costs.

Pictured above are the Apple Fritter, The Cinnamon Twist and The Glazed Cruller, which although plain in comparison to others in the Krispy Kreme range are still moderately yummy and most important, they are 'safe'.

The six donuts above are (From top left to right), The powdered blueberry filled, The powdered cake, and the Powdered strawberry filled. On the bottom row is The Chocolate cake, The Glazed blueberry, and The Glazed sour creme are all poison.

DO NOT EAT THEM<>

The chocolate iced glazed cruller, is simply the same as a glazed cruller with a chocolate topping, but like its plainer counterpart it is safe.

The traditional cake is not only the most important of the Krusty Kreme range, but it is also the single most important safe product in the food chain. As was mentioned in the post (The list of poisonous food is long and extensive) the antidote to the poison (introduced into the food chain by the 'anti poison lobby') has the draw back of being a major cause of all cancers. Not only is the Krispy Kreme traditional cake safe, it is also a powerful antidote when the cake is dunked in coffee; and furthermore is the only known strain of the antidote that is side-affect free, in other word is not a cause of cancer. I would consider at least five Krispy Kreme traditional cakes a day be introduced into everyone's diet immediately.

The remaining three varieties of Krispy Kreme donuts are what I call the unknowns; and unknowns means exactly that, it is not known if The Caramel Kreme crunch, Key Lime pie, and New York cheesecake are poison or not and should be avoided until further notice.

There have always been rumors that the key lime pie is antidote and that the New York cheesecake is on the infamous 'poison forever' list. (But I don not believe that theory, I believe that the 'poison forever list' is far more exclusive). Whatever the truth, at this stage no-one is sure so all three should be treated as poison until we can prove otherwise.